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There are currently 63 people following the account. These people get tweets from @thetatamimat at random times during the day and sometimes at night. I'm currently telling a story called "There Are Two Kinds of Animals" from an experience I had in Nepal. Currently, as I post this blogpost, this story has 74 tweets, over 1800 words and has been going for almost a week. Enjoy and don't forget, there's more.
Alka Resort Camp - Day 39 - March 7th, 03. Chitwan National Park, Nepal. (Started 3.27.11)
Imagine you’re in a jungle. You look around and you see leafy trees, you breathe in humid air and it’s green, right? Well, either jungles aren’t always like that or the words people use to describe natural places aren’t always the same.
Chitwan was described to us as a "jungle" where we would go on a “Jungle Safari” but to me it looked more like the Australian bush - think dry and Sahara-like. One side of the river was lush and green and the other was dry and arid. It was perfect, as Chitwan was bi-polar in more ways than one.
We were woken at a time I considered almost inhuman, ate breakfast and then walked through the fog as the sun rose behind us, warming our backs and waking us up. It wasn’t a long walk to the river, and we weren’t the only ones making the trek there from the campsite. Eavesdropping into conversations provided glimpses into lives and accents from all over the world. Together we were about to be lead into the jungle by our personal guides - on a hunt to find the elusive Nepalese rhinoceros.
To get to the jungle, both leafy and arid versions, we had to cross a crocodile infested river and travel down stream. As an expert in swimming with fresh water crocodiles, I was of course perfectly ok with the idea of crocodile infested waters. The other travelers in the boat didn’t seem to be quite as confident. “C’mon. They're freshies! They just eat fish. You’ll be right.” I said to a woman sitting in front of me. She relaxed. I continued, "Just don't run your fingers in the water. They'll probably bite them off." The look of panic on her face amused me. Silly tourist. We all sat together in the canoe in silence, looking at the mist shrouding us from the sun, the view and the crocodiles and other creatures lurking beside us.
Our guide stood at the front of the canoe steering us across the water. His paddling was hypnotically calming and the situation was like something out from a book. It became almost unreal when, from out of the mist, an elephant appeared. It was wading waist high through the water with a man riding on his neck. It glanced left as we came closer and I looked the huge beast right in the eye as we passed. The elephant's eye reflected my own curiousity and caution. We shared a moment of recognition right there in the water. For me, in that gaze, a message was shared between us. It was a look of mutual respect and one I can close my eyes and remember as clearly now as the day it happened. Just incredible. I watched it disappear as the guide continued to row.
We were in the canoe for about half an hour and during that time we spotted one Gharial crocodile. Infested waters? I think not. We moored at a small jetty and we were motioned to exit to the mouth of the "jungle". I looked up and saw a Jeep and a man with a stick standing there. I wondered for a moment what the big stick was for. Bush whacking like I used to do as a kid?I quickly refocused as he started to talk.
"There are TWO kinds of animals: dangerous and not dangerous. Dangerous animals are tigers, rhinos and black bears." I added a silent oh my. He continued: "First, rhinos. If we see a rhino and we are near a tree we have to climb at least 6 feet up a tree. If there are no trees we we have to run, zigzag style, because rhinos have weak necks so they can only run fast, straight."
My eyes were now the size of saucers and all I could do was look at the tall trees in the distance. Trees that didn't appear to have branches sprouting out less than six feet from from the ground. I am about 5.4 when I when I stand straight, so I was going to be in trouble if I didn't zigzag fast enough.
He continued: "If a rhino is following us we have to drop our things: bag, water, cameras to confuse the rhino. His eyes are weak but his nose is strong." "His nose is really strong?" I said. "I'm sure it is with a freaking horn attached. It's going to smell me and impale me before I even spot him coming." I was beginning to wonder if this rhino hunt in Nepal was a good idea but I reminded myself it was all about the future story.
"Now, tigers." TIGERS?! "If a tiger wants to attack us he can. He's the king of the jungle. There's nothing we can do. BUT we have two ideas: The first idea is to look the tiger in the eye, the second is to walk backwards." What? I was uncoordinated on the best of days so the idea of going in reverse with a tiger closing in on me was like a death sentence. I would fall and therefore die. Death by tiger. Great. He continued, "Only three kinds of tigers will attack you: mothers with young cubs who are afraid of us, old tigers who are too slow to kill other things, and tigers who have already killed humans and want to kill more. This is because human blood is salty, you know?" I nodded.
"Now, bears." Seriously?! "Bears we can try to fight with our sticks, but they are still dangerous. We should look them directly in the eye too....OK. Any questions?" By this stage I was thinking, forget the rhinos, let's just get back on the boat. Then I thought of the croc infested waters with one measly crocodile and that maybe these guides were part guides - part dreamers. Rhinos and tigers and bears - yeah, right! We looked around to make sure we were safe, looked at each other and I said, " No, no questions." The guide smiled and turned to walk off but I looked at his silhouette in front of me and blurted out, stopping him, "Actually, I do have a question!" He turned back around and looked at me curiously. "What?" he said. "Um". I pointed at his right hand. "Where do I get one of those? Where is my walking stick?" The guide grinned, motioned to the ground and said "Somewhere. It's waiting for you." I wrinkled my face as I was looking for a stick not a magical item. Just a stick. A stick to protect me from wild animals, and yes, to hit the ground as I walked like I was taught by my dad as a little girl to scare off snakes. Australia doesn't mess around when it comes to snakes so carrying a big stick when hiking was a must. Now I wasn't so sure the hitting the stick to the ground effect would be on a rhino, tiger or bear but maybe I could poke it in the eye and run really fast, zigzag style, to a tree I couldn't climb, after dropping everything I was holding and hope for the best. I found a stick. I was ready to go on the first stage of our safari. Everything seemed to have stages and levels and steps on this day. From the three kinds of dangerous animals to the different options of escape, this safari was like a real life Choose Your Own Adventure. We set off on foot for safari part one - walking version.
Chitwan was sold to us on its unique ability of showing the traveler equal levels of beauty and danger. We'd heard all about the danger and now it was time to experience the beauty. As mentioned, the first part of the park was dry and bushlike. I walked on the crunchy grass and hit the ground in time with my steps and looked around carefully. Grass, shrubs, trees, blue sky, and dirt. We walked away from the river, through the open field and into an amazing "more jungle than we'd seen so far" area. It was green and leafy and so different from what we we had already seen - almost like a whole new world. The green canopy enveloped me with waves of calmness, or that could have also been the stuff the guide was smoking. He showed us special plants, told us local legends and was on the lookout for wild animals that may attack. We walked through the jungle for three hours and finally reached the elephant sanctuary. In the entire time we hiked the only living creature we saw was definitely not terrifying - unless you were featured on a Maury episode for having an irrational fear. All we saw on this part of the rhino safari was one lousy domesticated chicken. Next up: Safari part two - riding on elephants version.
The guide lead us to another part of the river where an elephant was waiting and swaying and watching us. It was wearing an ornate saddle and there was a man on his neck. Our guide motioned for us to get on the ramp next to the elephant and to climb on. I felt awful for the elephant but was relieved to see that the trainer wasn't cruel or mean. I climbed up and on and looked down I realized how tall the animal really was. Elephants are big. We set off on the next part of the safari swaying from left to right, looking carefully into the trees for the elusive rhino. We were just there to see one, nothing more, nothing less, and the chances of us doing so were slim. We weren't expecting to see one as so many travelers had been here before us and seen nothing. We were going to get lucky, I could feel it. First we we were going to get wet. Soaking wet. Picture this: an elephant, a wide river we had to cross, and a guide with a wicked sense of humor. The elephant had to be encouraged to enter the chilly water but once it was in, it decided to enjoy itself thoroughly. One trunk full of water later we were the soggy passengers aboard. As the elephant sprayed us, it trumpeted and I'm positive, laughed. We were absolutely soaking wet and I carefully checked the camera to make sure it wasn't drenched too. Luckily my swift reflexes had kicked in and I'd put the camera up my shirt and under my bra. I know, I am very protective of my camera, and would have done anything to protect it. The camera was dry.
The river was finally crossed after a couple more drenchings from the elephant and more hearty laughing from its trainer. The other side looked the same as the side before but had more elephants with more tourists darting in and out of the trees. We headed in to find a rhino.
Want more? Of course you do! This is all I have tweeted so far, but it's not the end of the story. Make sure to follow @thetatamimat on twitter to keep up. There's more to come. 
