Superglue is NOT mascara Teagan!!!!

My daughter is a maniac.We already dealt with severed fingers a few months back.
Here is today's adventure.
Supergluing her eye shut.
I was in the shower. Jay was in the living room. Teagan was climbing up on a chair to get to superglue I had on top of our chest of drawers which is 5 feet tall. Never thought she would get to it but she did.
She is going through a cute stage of copying me. She helps me do the dishes, the laundry, clean and of course she puts on my makeup whenever I am not looking.
I think today she thought the superglue was mascara.
I was in the shower and she comes down and says her eye has a boo boo.I looked at her and thought - great, here we go again but totally didn't panic. I mean why panic? The kids eye is glued shut. There is absolutely nothing I can do except take her to the ER to see what to do. We get her there and the nurse giggles.The first thing she asks is if we took a photo. That made me more relaxed. If all they want to know is if we took a photo, Great for when she's20 they say.I hadn't but then I did. They put some eye ointment on her eye to help dissolve the glue but it takes 24 hours to work so we just have to wait and see. She isn't in any pain at all so we are all fairly confident that it isn't in her eye. Tomorrow I am taking her to see an opthamologist and then her pediatrician to make sure everything is ok.

She's a terror but I still love her...even though she looks like a pirate. 

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When will I, will I be famous? - Bros.

I will never be really famous. Not like how I wanted to be famous when I was a kid growing up. I can't really remember this but my nan told me that the reason why I wanted to get horse riding lessons as a kid was for just in case I became a famous actress and I needed to know how to ride a horse on film. I do remember being obsessed with the Corey's and NKOTB and many many more actors in my teens.
As an adult of course I secretly love being the center of attention, even though I am very self-conscious and have that whole social anxiety thing I suffer from (which sucks but I deal with it). What better thing to do than become the Sex Lady of SCV. You kind of stick out when you drive a car with SUZTOYS plastered all over it. I was so embarrassed when I first stickered the car. I would look the other way from people at traffic lights and felt terrible at Troy's school. Now I couldn't care less. I have embraced being the sex lady because if I didn't my business would fail and then what would be the point of being a Partygal? Getting lots of cheap lube?

To make a long rant short I do a lot of work with the amazing women of SCV Moms Blog and for Valentine's Day we are having a couple of live events on the site. On February 9th at 10am I will be on their Blog Talk Radio Show! Yay for me!!



As they say : SCV Moms Blog Talk Radio LIVE Tuesday 2/9 at 10 AM!
We are chatting with Susan Fujiki, owner of Suz Toys about all that is naughty and nice in the bedroom. This is a saucy show you won't want to miss... and a preview to our SCVMB After Dark event on February 12th".

If you are not a member of the blog it is ok. You can download it from iTunes. Yippee. I will be on iTunes!

On Feb 12th I will be working with them on SCVMB After Dark. We will be giving away over $1000 in prizes - including some from me (Suztoys)!
" If you're looking to spice things up in your relationship, you know that some of your best advice comes from your friends. So let's chat, connect with friends, and win LOTS of prizes just in time for Valentine's Day.

Get your husband/boyfriend to join SCV Dads Blog BEFORE Feb 12th and he'll be entered to win even more great V-day prizes, too.

You won't want to miss this one!

See you there...

ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!!"

Join SCV Moms Blog to listen and learn!

So I am not famous but I am loved as the Sex Lady of SCV. Better than being the bag lady.

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Oh my f*#@^n god! This is a real political ad here in Cali.

You may never look at sheep the same way again - or politics. Get ready to be amazed!!! (and disturbed).

Be patient. Trust me. Watch it to the end.




Yep, I have nothing to add except - "Holy shit".....

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Will it happen?

So Troy wants to play Tball with his friend Alex. He can't because Alex is in SCV and we are in LA county. I called the park where Troy could play but there is a waiting list.
I laughed my head off at this part - there are 4 kids waiting already but if Jay would coach then the team would open up !!!

Let's see if we can talk him into it!

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i'm slightly crazy

I think I have mentioned this before in passing but today I am going to write about it a little bit more.

I have a kind of bi-polar, depression, OCD thing that gets me totally aggravated when the house is not clean. I am serious. I get so pissed off that I literally see red and sometimes have to go and take a Xanax to calm the heck down. I have seen a psychiatrist, I've seen a therapist, I've been given multiple medications but something as small as a sock in the wrong place can set me off. It is hard to explain to people and it makes me even harder to live with  as no-one really understands how irritated I really get. My husband does not understand. For me if there is a mess I have to clean. It has to be clean now. Should have already been clean actually. What if someone walks in and thinks I'm a terrible mum, wife, person??!! I know it's silly.

I have an idea of when it started. I was a messy kid growing up. My room was always a mess. I was messy when I lived in my first apartment in Japan. I think it started when my dad got sick when Jay and I were living together in Neyagawa. I started to clean because cleaning took my mind off what was happening back at home. I became very organized at work as ran my back offices so well that I was asked to go to other schools to improve theirs. I saw it as a positive thing. Now it is just annoying.

This is how it physically feels. When I see things on the floor, mess all over the place I get so mad that I physically grit my teeth, breathe shallowly, feel my chest tighten, clench my jaw so bad it hurts, clench my fists and feel like my brain is pounding out of my head. I sometimes have to sit down for a minute because I feel like I am going to have a stroke that's how angry I get. I see red. Literally. I have to walk away from whoever is there because I don't want to say anything. I usually do make some kind of smart arse comment from another room just loud enough for people to hear.

I will sometimes bang stuff around but usually I clean quietly and fume. Why is the house always so messy? Why does everyone do this to piss me off? Don't they know how I feel when I see the house like this?

Reading what I have written above I know that my reactions are over the top but this is just my reaction to mess. I don't like things being where they don't belong - ie/ where I didn't put them. My new years resolution was to calm the hell down and not get too worried about it but it seems to just be a psychological part of me that is really hard to shake. If I sit and do not clean I get really, really anxious. I can't focus or concentrate on what needs to be done and just keep thinking about the mess, and thinking about the mess, and thinking about the mess, and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking until it feels like the mess is a black hole sucking everything in - including me.

The therapist I was seeing made sense when he suggested that my cleaning was a reaction to stress and a need for control.  In other words when I am stressed I clean. When I don't want to say what's on my mind I clean. When I want to avoid things I clean. Therapists make things seem so simple but then fixing the problem is easier said than done. I try my best to just relax and try not to worry about it and that works sometimes but then I feel like I have zero control over what is going on which makes me more anxious. The cleaning makes me mad but then I am calm after it is done. The only thing I have found that helps in all honestly is a really really low dose of Xanax. I only take it when I am so worked up and anxious that I feel like I am going to have a panic attack - which I have had in the past and I don't ever want to have again. It helps. I rarely take it but I like the fact that it is there.

Yes, I do exercise, yes when I eat poorly or when I eat badly it still happens. Whether I drink caffeine or not, still happens. It happens with the physical sense of panic more often when I am tired. If I am overtired it doesn't take much to set me off. I know when I need more sleep or else I will have an episode but it is not easy as I still have to work, write, be a mum, be Suztoys and everything to everyone. Sometimes I need to just shut the door and be alone. The kids yelling mum, mum, mum when I'm overtired can set me off too. A few hours a week of alone time helps out immensely. I find when I am working I am more relaxed when it comes to the mess situation but Jay and I decided that it is because no-one is home to mess up the house so it is perfect when I get home, unlike these days when I look with my eyes and I see nuclear disaster even though it is never that bad.

So like I said it is hard to explain, hard to control but I wanted to write about it to try to explain why I get so frustrated some times. I'm hoping that through writing about it if anyone else suffers from something similar that they will feel relief in knowing that they are not alone. I feel like I am crazy but I know in my heart it is not "me"just some part of my brain that is not working properly. It is embarrassing, annoying and frustrating but it is a part of me now, I just need to get better at controlling it - or should I say not controlling it.

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